Two Blog Sunday!

Well hello there.

This will probably be a long, rambley, updatey type post. I know how much you all love the rambles! Anyway, forgive me for its length and any odd feelings it may cause you (if I don't see at least one 'That's what she said' in the comments, I will cry).

As some of you may or may not know, I was cruelly (I kid!) rejected from Goldsmiths. They said, however, in the follow up letter, that they recommended I got more experience playing live and in a band, and then tried again with an early application. As yet, I'm still unsure about the meaning of the 'early application' bit, but it's the 'garnering more experience' part of their recommendation that's really screwing me up.

My reaction to this was to start planning another year out, and travel all kinds of places, learning and playing with other musicians as I went. However, the problem comes when people try and help. I've had a letter (?!?!?!) from my Dad offering me advice, my Mom keeps descending on my piano practices to suggest possible strategies, my brother wants me to telephone Goldsmiths, and as yet, although we've no official message from Gordon Brown, I'm sure we can expect one soon. The fact is, that although well-meaning, all of these opinions are just screwing me up and are making this decision impossible. I know they all really care about me, but if I hear one more 'If you don't mind me suggesting...', I will scream. I'm actually getting close to just quitting music, applying for an English course and resigning myself to becoming a teacher.

Anyway, it's not all doom and gloom! I got a new jumper!

I'm also starting to hate 'JobCenter'. I really appreciate getting the extra financial support that I do, I need it, because for an unexperienced, poorly qualified (in things that matter, anyway), straight-from-school 'writer/musician', getting a job is next to impossible. No shops want staff, I can't use my LifeGuard qualification as they all need verifiable experience, and I'm not supposed to look for jobs more than an hours journey from my doorstep.

However, the way they treat you in the JobCenters just makes you want to give up. They measure your success not on your qualifications, your potential, or any real level, it is simply measured on whether or not you're employed.

Job = Win
Unemployed = Fail.

It's a simple and as ruthless as that. And on top of that, there's the processes and the hoops they make you jump through to get the payment. Normally, it's okayish, you just fill out the sheet they provide you with how you've looked for jobs, make sure you say you've used the government website and it's done. But say you've had a fortnight like I have just passed. I actually worked once, broke down twice, and then my future was thrown into jeopardy. To be honest, the last thing I was thinking about was how to fill up my days, let alone how brilliant the government JobSeekers website is.

I know what you're all thinking, and you're right. For £100 every fortnight, for hardly any work except emailing off my CV, I do have little right to complain. That's why I'm not really complaining. Tomorrow, I will walk into that place, give them my sheet and walk away having done my bit for statisticians. I guess I'm just ranting, really. You okay with that?

Anyways, life isn't all that bad at the moment. Ryan did eventually make it over, and stayed for a few days, which was fun. We got very drunk, spoke a lot of German, and learnt a couple new songs. My [other] brother, Adrian came over yesterday for tea. Was nice to catch up, and see how mature he is now. He's recently changed jobs and seems to be enjoying life a lot more now, which is always good. For those of you that know my parents, the village hall is doing well, and I believe there's a 'Painting Party' of some sort going on today. The committee sends their regards.

That's all from me and 'Two Blog Sunday', really. As you can see here, I'm joining Maureen Johnson and blogging every day this April, so that should be fun. I'm also just starting to use AdSense, so I'm trying to get to grips with that at the moment, so apologies if it's a bit 'in your face' at the moment (although that is, I believe, the point of adverts). Don't judge me for selling out.

Hope you're well, missing all of you tonnes.

xo
gb