Tuesday 19 January 2010

Hysteria

If you can't stand middle-class white teenagers whining about their inability to cope, then I suggest you don't read this entry.*

It's generally been the case that as unstable as my personal life may be, academically, I've always been pretty fine. I'm lazy, true, and I have a habit of pushing my deadlines to the very last minute, but generally, whilst my relationships and emotions are crashing down and whirling up around me, the path of my education has been pretty firm.

Now, for some reason, the opposite is true. For the first time ever, I have a large group of friends, with a core group of really close ones, and I'm only 10 minutes away from the girl I've spent most of my life missing. I may not be able to make up my mind about romantic relationships, but they're either looking up or aren't an issue, so I don't really have any huge burdens of the heart either.

Despite all this, though, I can't seem to get happy enough to want to work or write anything of substance. I can't even bring myself to get up and do my laundry (I'm currently wearing a shirt I've worn three times this week alone). It's a good job I don't have any lectures for another week, because I sincerely doubt I'd go to them.

And I don't know what to do. I drink, but I know that's not the solution. If anything, it makes it worse. But I can't bare being sober and clear-minded at the moment: it allows me to start thinking. So what do I do? I guess I wait, hope for the best, and become superstitious enough to maybe pass my first year.

In other news, I'm not on Facebook anymore because of a breach of TOC, so if you want me, I'm on Twitter, or message me for my number.

xo
gb

*Although I would wonder why you're following this blog at all, were that the case..