Monday, 12 April 2010

Way to Normal

Sometimes I think I should try and be normal.

I mean, I just saw something that made me realise what normal men are like, and it just really brought home what people expect from each other.

I mean, by way of example, I have nearly 300 songs about Harry Potter on my iTunes, and I'm writing my own. I spent most of today re-writing the theme to Doctor Who, and I play, amongst other instruments, the didgeridoo, ukulele, and lute. If you ask me about teams, I am very likely to start talking about Quidditch.

Now, don't get me wrong: I'm not ashamed of being a nerd. I believe that knowing things is cool, I love reading, and I proudly wear my nerd colours on my sleeve (blue and gray). I just think that maybe somewhere along the line, I've completely lost track of things.

Earlier, my friend Bri expressed her admiration at the fact that I wear frequently wear nail varnish. I've had similar sentiments from other friends. From other people, though, I've had emotions ranging from bemusement to nausea.

Now I'm not going to claim that I don't care what people think about me, because that is quite obviously a lie. I don't, however, care if short-sighted idiots can't get past the idea of a guy wearing nail varnish, or wearing girls boxers, or being almost 20 and still professing his public love for Puddlemere United.

But the fact is that I'm not normal. I can't talk to you about real music. Albums made in K-Holes in Parisian bathrooms, played on childrens' toys - Yes. Why three lines of my iTunes are dedicated to an artist no one in the UK that doesn't know what DFTBA means knows of - Yes. But who Tinchy Stryder is? Who the Number 1 is at the moment? No chance.

I can't explain the offside rule. I drink Lambrini because I love it. I hate the taste of beer. I don't think I will ever be able to fall in love again, because I view it only as a chemical reaction. And I am never going to care if anything bad happens in the sporting world. I think people that have tattoos will regret them, but I plan to get my own. I judge people with facial piercings, but I have one myself. I want a toy Sonic Screwdriver. I still play act and pretend I'm a cowboy sometimes. My Facebook is in Latin.

I can't shake this feeling that I should enjoy youth while it lasts, because I'm going to end up lonely.


Thursday, 8 April 2010

Always relieving to know

How many baboons could you take in a fight? (armed only with a giant dildo)

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